The Bank of America has recognized in an exclusive that Americans savings are safer under the mattress than in the hands of banks and American savings banks.

 In an interview with a high position on the board of directors, Mr. Austin Big Fish, made the following statements:

 “Lately, the money that passes through our hands is not managed so that we could offer to our users minimum guarantees. After years of experience, the only thing I can guarantee is that a lot of money ends up in brothels, nightclubs, the purchase of drugs and in exclusive beach bars on the best beaches.”

“From the Bank of America we prefer that Americans leave their savings at home and thus be able to detoxify all the high positions that surround this business of the addictions acquired in these years of waste, gaps and excessive consumption of power,” says Mr. Big Fish from his office between Methadone and anxiolytics.